Hi I’m Michael William Roach
I help people find the confidence to move from just surviving to thriving in today’s world. I’ve trained in many therapeutic technologies both modern and traditional. I also have extensive marketing and business strategy experience.
Confidence is about both how you feel on the inside, your mindset and also evolving yourself to become aware of how you sabotage yourself.
You sabotage yourself by hiding things you don’t like from yourself. You hide these secrets in your Shadow, the part of yourself you don’t want to acknowledge exists. I can show you how to learn to love your Shadow and reawaken your natural sexual energy and become a whole man or woman where you have access to your natural aliveness where you experience the pure joy of being alive.
There is a continuum of at one end being connected to the future that you are creating and the power and energy that fills you with and at the other end feeling disconnected and the lack of energy and aliveness that manifests as anxiety and depression.
We disconnect from our natural joy and power because we live in a culture that sexualises pretty much everything including the charge we have around negative things where we’ve been hurt and wounded.
Energetically that charge is just a charge it’s not good or bad it’s just an increased amount of energy but if we think of it as bad and unacceptable we hide it out of view in our Shadow.
But just because it’s hidden that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting us for many people it’s driving their experience and sabotaging their lives.
Fundamentally this is about evolving yourself and becoming smarter.
Evolving how you think but understanding this isn’t just about intellectual intelligence, it’s about being embodied and realising that real embodiment means that you are your body not only your thinking mind. And because you are your body, your emotions drive your thinking even if you don’t think that.
One of the multiple intelligences we have is sexual intelligence. Sexual energy is our most powerful creative energy, and because it’s powerful, many people feel it controls them, and they are at the mercy of their desire.
But that’s just being dumb, not intelligent. Sexual intelligence is related to bodily intelligence the more you are embodied, the more you know what not only your body wants but what other people’s bodies want as well.
It’s when you are stuck with just intellectual intelligence and can’t see what other people’s bodies want and are illiterate and confused about what you want sexually.
For example, if you think sex is about anything other than you both enjoying each other, then you lack sexual intelligence. If you think of sex as the release of tension and about getting what you want you are not going to enjoy sex.
If you are concerned about your masculinity or femininity, you are thinking about yourself, not the person you are with and who you need to be, to be in the kind of relationship you want to be in.
Because that’s always going to be changing if you’re alive.
Yet in our thinking, we get lost in abstractions and take a mental still picture a “selfie” of the world and think that is real and in doing that miss the aliveness, the sensuality of what is really attractive.
For many people what should be erotic is now neurotic and they need the release of tension rather than coming to sex with the energy of play.
Porn is about dehumanisation where you are distracting yourself from your suffering by requiring fantasy rather than being able to enjoy the reality of your partner.
You need to heal your woundedness rather than sexualising your distress and using sex to try to feel better.
This manifests as the inability to make intimate relationships work.
This could be that you just can’t get into a relationship or that you can’t sustain a relationship long term. And as the inability to get the success you want in your working life.
In today’s volatile, uncertain, confusing and anxiety causing world where the ability to change and adapt is critical how you do this quickly allows you to grow and thrive as opposed not to survive.
The fastest way to change is to work with a mentor someone who can help you fix your unique problems and get you moving in the direction that is right for you.
The problem with specific approaches to mentoring, coaching, therapy and marketing is that they want you to go their way. When that might or might not work for you.
I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years, and I’ve continuously learnt new skills because different people need different things.
You need someone who can adapt to you and your unique life, unique problems and help you find the unique solutions you can’t see by yourself.
Let me tell you some of my story so you can see if I can help you and if I’m someone you want to work with and as part of that story I’ll reveal some of the secrets it’s taken me 40 years to learn.
As a child in the 1970’s I was profoundly happy I spent a lot of time with disabled children who had overcome an enormous amount of adversity because my Mum worked for the guy who ran that charity.
It was only when I changed schools, and my Mum got a different job that as a teenager I was around other “normal” children that I found that everyone was unhappy.
“Coincidentally” I developed my own disability then I stuttered. And they “helped” me by sending me to the library to study by myself.
They also moved me from the smart kids class to the dumb kids class where I learnt how to skip school without getting caught.
So I spent most of my teenage years rebelling “quietly” in libraries and bookshops because I needed an answer I needed to fix myself because I couldn’t communicate with anyone.
I literally couldn’t speak so anyone could understand me.
I lived in the “mind science” section of bookshops and libraries which back then contained both the psychology books and the Buddhist and other spiritual books.
So I connected the idea that psychology and spirituality were interrelated from a young age.
Even now when I study with people like Ken Wilber I see the path back to myself as a teenager in the libraries and bookshops.
I went from bookshops and libraries to a degree in psychology, but I learnt that wasn’t applied enough, so I learnt Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) from its founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder. And I discovered that really NLP was part of hypnosis, not the other way around.
This is a secret that limits many of the people who just study NLP, whether that’s just a practitioner training, or if they go all the way to Master Practitioner and Trainer.
One of the very first exercises you do on a practitioner training is about sensory acuity. But many of the NLP Trainers I’ve coached and mentored in a business strategy context don’t have the sensory acuity about themselves they need to truly be successful.
They’ve got good skills for working with other people, but they can’t see what’s limiting them, they can’t see how they’re sabotaging themselves, and that’s difficult to admit when you’ve been certified as a Trainer.
So after being coached by Michael Breen, I found a two-year Ericksonian hypnotherapy training. But because I’d learnt NLP, it was natural for me to go who do I model and learn from? So as a student I found the authors of the books I loved on my course reading list and trained with them.
I spent time with the best hypnosis and hypnotherapy trainers in the world. My favourites being Stephen Gilligan, Ernest Rossi, Bill O’Hanlon and David Grove.
And I also continued to work on my NLP skills with trainers like Jonathan Altfeld who ran specific skill building training I did so many of these that I got invited to help out for free.
I learnt “magick” from Phil Farber and mental training from John La Tourrette and Essential Skills from Tom and Kim.
And even did a second NLP Trainers Training with Rex Sikes.
I hadn’t realised that back then that the hypnotherapy “training” (we were talking around 20 years ago) was as much supervision groups where therapists brought their difficult clients to see the master teacher.
But because I’d “dived in at the deep end” I got an education in how to work with trauma from the most skilful therapeutic geniuses who were compassionate enough to share their skills and their own learning.
Steve Gilligan always acknowledges his debt to his teacher Milton Erickson by his commitment to sharing his own learnings and growth and development.
I went to the US to train with Steve for a couple of years at his three-week intensive “summer Trance Camps” where I also met many other therapists from diverse traditions including Charlie Badenhop, the creator of Seishindo who I continued to study with at his European trainings.
I trained in Clean Language with its creators James Lawley and Penny Tompkins because after attending training with David Grove I knew I didn’t understand what he was doing and Clean Language was built from modelling David.
David Grove had a unique ability to work with people subtly. He was a genius at working with people who were traumatised and couldn’t talk directly about their problems.
I loved Clean Language so much I did Penny and James training twice and spent two years in their bi-monthly practice group.
But I also found I didn’t want to be clean all the time that it was more useful for my clients to be very direct with them.
This is another secret it’s the difference between mentoring and coaching. And it’s where it’s no longer about therapy because you are going: “I know what you should do.”
The mentor has the ability because they’ve just done so much stuff that they can draw on their own experience and share that learning with others. But the key here is being able to do this in a “clean” way.
Most people even certified trainers of NLP and hypnotherapy can’t do this because of their commitment to their model of the world, their way of working limits what they do.
You can only authentically mentor someone when you are sufficiently aware of your own models, maps, skills and limitations that you can not impose them on your client.
It’s this ability to see your client without imposing your filters over them that Gregory Bateson referred to this shift when he was discussing Milton Erickson in an interview with Brad Keeney, one of his students. The interview took place in 1976 when Erickson’s work was just getting known to a broader audience.
Erickson’s name came up during the interview, and Keeney asked if Bateson had been in touch with him recently. Bateson said he hadn’t, only through some of the many students that Bateson had sent to Erickson.
Keeney asked what he thought of the books that were coming out about Erickson, and Bateson harrumphed his archetypal British aristocratic harrumph.
He said he hated the work, regretted sending people to Erickson, and would do it no more.
When Keeney asked him to elaborate, Bateson said that Erickson had a way of entering a system so thoroughly before he acted that he was not an ego separate from the system but part of the “weave of the total complex”. Therefore his techniques arose from within the weave and harmonised with them.
I learnt this provocative directness and systemic awareness from the cognitive scientist Dr. Joseph Riggio the Architect and Designer of the MythoSelf process. Who I apprenticed myself to for over ten years.
Joseph created the MythoSelf process, a psycho-spiritual personal development technology from working with his mentor Roye Frazier.
Roye had spent a lot of time with Richard Bandler in the early days of NLP’s development and developed extraordinary hypnosis skills combined with a view on the value of life from being a commando in the Israeli military during the war.
Roye developed his Generative Imprint method from studying (very directly) how and why did some people come back alive and others didn’t?
Roye described this as spiritual or metaphysical but accessed as a proprioceptive or felt sense way as a pull towards what it means to feel truly alive.
For me, this profoundly connected up with my study as a teenager in the mind science section of the bookshops and libraries I’d been in when I should have been at school.
I’d gotten that many people had problems with meditation and mindfulness because they over intellectualised it and I did for a long time.
But it was when I reconnected with my felt sense experience, that I was embodied. I had a more direct experience of reality rather than the one step removed thought based thinking about my experience.
The secret here is in basic meditation on the breath when you’re told to focus on the breathing they don’t mean intellectually even if the teacher doesn’t realise that themselves.
You focus on the “sensation” of the breath. Or how I’d say that more clearly is you feel the breath going into your nose AND going into your lungs AND feel the flow of life energy in the rest of your body as that in breath is happening.
It’s the same if you use a mantra to meditate on. You need to feel the vibration as you chant. Your body literally responds at an energetic level to the vibration of the words as sounds you make.
If you turn this into an intellectual understanding by thinking about it rather than experiencing it, you lose the reality of the experience that you could be having and taking with you in living your life.
Fortunately, I loved martial arts. As a younger child of 8, 9 and 10 years old I’d wanted to be a Samurai warrior. I was deeply in love with Japanese culture.
There was this aesthetic way of looking at the world and seeing the beauty that was there if you looked in the right way. This was how I got into meditation because the Samurai studied Zen Buddhism.
And I went through all the Buddhist books and martial arts books I could get my hands on both in libraries and second-hand bookshops. And eventually got to Chögyam Trungpa who was talking about the sacred path of the warrior.
People had been really critical about Chögyam Trungpa because while he was the head of a Buddhist school and had done the whole escape from Tibet the same as His Holiness the Dalai Lama. When he settled in the UK, he had the realisation that he needed to teach westerners the full depth of his understanding and not hold anything back.
This wasn’t acceptable to his fellow monks, so he was kicked out of the monastery. But then he also married an English woman, and it was the 1960’s so he wasn’t exactly playing by their rules.
For me, there is a fundamental counterintuitive idea that the culture we live in programs us and we can’t see that programming. We can’t see the rules of the game we’re playing.
In psychology, many developmental theorists have spoken about this. Ken Wilber has helpfully summarised and synthesised all these into his Integral view or way of seeing the world.
For me, it’s easy to see people’s uniqueness because I grew up with children who at that time in the 1970s had extraordinarily negative labelling and in my direct experience that just wasn’t true.
It was the “normal” people who had the problems.
I got an early insight into how we get programmed, and I’ve followed this theme throughout my life in spirituality, psychology, coaching and therapy and marketing.
Let me help you deprogram yourself because if you can’t see how you are sabotaging your success, you can’t be successful. If you’re interested in learning more I’ll tell you how to deprogram yourself on the next page, so click here to read that.