What is your relationship story? Do You have one or is it unconscious and sabotaging you?
The story we learn as children is to be a good boy or girl and do what we are told then we’ll live “happily ever after”. That’s where the story we are told as children ends but in the real world it’s where it starts.
Many people never get to this happy ever after. We live in a world where more and more people are single or not in relationships that they want to be in or don’t even see the value of long term intimate relationships. And the divorce rate has been between 40-50% for a long time.
And more and more people are living in anxiety and depression. How come this story is so sad?
I worked with the original Flirt Coach Peta Heskell helping her run her attraction seminars for over seven years till she retired. We were in competition with Ross Jeffries there weren’t any other options back then. Ross created “Speed Seduction” because he was actually an excellent writer who learnt NLP and then learnt marketing and spoke to the demand from men who couldn’t get into relationships, though of course he was selling a quick route to sex not relationships. Which if you just don’t sabotage yourself and be an real man you get most women want anyway and just want you to stop messing around as talk honestly to them.
Because Ross learned marketing from the best one of my teachers the legendary Dan Kennedy. He designed Speed Seduction around what men naturally did. So there was a whole structure of getting together in groups to talk about what techniques to use which was great marketing design because you’re creating evangelists who sell your product for you.
But it also created the opportunity for Ross’s students to copy him and there are many of his former students out there teaching seduction as variations on the original theme.
However, no one copied Peta who was doing attraction. They couldn’t because they didn’t get what was inside of what we were doing. She didn’t share that we were both students of Dr. Joseph Riggio and doing MythoSelf influenced work. They only saw the surface level story with quotes from people like John la Valle describing Peta as the “Wild Woman of NLP.”
It wasn’t about epistemological change or change at the level of thinking. It was about ontological change, change at the level of being. This is the core distinction of the MythoSelf process along with its singular orientation on being able to find a way that works for you.
So if you want to know how you are when you are at your best and extraordinarily irresistibly attractive the markers of this are somatic, they are not cognitive.
Neil Strauss another writer wrote a book called: “The Game” that chronicled the activities of the seduction industry so if you’re curious you want to read this first but then also read his other book “The Truth” where he talks about how learning seduction completely messed up his ability to have genuine relationships and how he required therapy to straighten himself out.
I worked as a therapist for over 20 years. I trained with the best people in the world. But what I always found was the most effective was when people got they could help themselves because here you own the power. There is a natural power dynamic in any teacher/student or doctor/patient relationship. But you want to develop your own power and this hierarchical relationship doesn’t help.
Successful relationships with other people rely on the relationship that you have with yourself is working and healthy. Otherwise you are sabotaging yourself and your other relationships.
You are either a good coach to yourself or you let your Shadow the stuff you don’t like and don’t want to acknowledge about yourself take control.
If you live in the passenger seat of life you’ll always have problems so you have to become conscious rather than unconscious.
If you already have a mindfulness practice that’s a start. But you should not be looking to use mindfulness to escape from your problems. This is called spiritual bypassing where you try to go around what you need to fix rather than doing the work to fix it.
I work with you developmentally. In other words I help you with functional problems as a mentor based on my experience of over 20 years working as a therapist, coach and trainer and 40 years of mindfulness training and study of spirituality, esoteric and the metaphysical and how to apply it.
I’m particularly good if you’ve tried other types of therapy or coaching or courses and haven’t gotten the results you want.
The difference is I’m helping you do the work.
I’m not doing anything to you.
We go the route that is right for you not a prescribed way.
I’m a partner on your journey with you in the lead. You’re the Hero on your Hero’s Journey I’m Sam to your Frodo.
Successful people know that success is a team sport. CEO’s have a board of directors to advise them and know to get specialist coaches. If you’re newer in business you need a wise advisor. Because it’s all about relationships.
Whether your relationship is in the boardroom or bedroom your performance is what matters. And that’s driven by the relationship you have with yourself where you can authentically be confident that you can perform.
This comes from knowing yourself not just at the surface shallow level that today’s world encourages. But knowing yourself deeply.
Because if you are shallow then your relationships will be fragile and break.
But when you start to think of yourself as the hero and what living that hero’s journey would mean to who you are and who you attract because of being the hero or heroine isn’t that worth taking the next step even though that is a leap of faith?